I can’t breath

I noticed recently that I hold my breath often. It seems to be subconscious punctuation–where I might have a dash, semicolon, or exclamation point if I were writing, when I am thinking I often catch my breath. When I have a trailing space, after completing one thought and considering where to go next, I hyperventilate.

This mannerism does not strike me as particularly healthy. It seems to be a manifestation of obsessing and stressing over things, an irregularity or excitability that could be associated with hypertension. Although I am not a devotee of Eastern medicine or religion, I can appreciate the calming and stabilizing effects of regular breathing.

My Driver’s Education instructor always admonished me that I had to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time, if I was going to be able to deal with the multitasking of driving. Little did he know I can’t even think and breath at the same time.

Incidentally, I am most hazardous as a nominally alert driver when my background thoughts develop a suspended state, a sort of blue screen of death. I confuse the nonmotion of my thoughts with my surroundings and forget to pay attention to them as circumstances in motion.

Maybe I should get a warning sticker that says “Danger! Faulty Wiring.”