Today I went on an Epic Trundle. It lasted three hours and went off road and got me a blister. Walking is supposed to help move your bowels and mind went miles and miles. Not only that but I tried every other negotiating tactic ordinarily supplied to civilians. As a result I can now announce a stalemate.

I got something for my efforts, yes. But it didn’t take the shape I was looking for. I have demonstrated that my bowels are not completely obstructed, but I haven’t settled whether they are partially obstructed. Now if, after all my efforts, I got nothing, I was prepared to make a convincing case to medical professionals that I needed some kind of help. But I don’t have acute pain and I don’t really know exactly how long it’s been since I’ve been normal (anywhere from four days to in excess of a week) and I don’t really know what my output to input deficit is.

Ordinarily I’d say, “Okay, you can move something, that’s good; maybe the whole problem cleared up without you noticing. Go back to normal and see what comes of it.” But Tuesday I am supposed to get on a plane. Yeah. Airplanes and laxatives. Sounds like a good time. And then after that I’m supposed to walk around a convention center for a day. And then drive for hours to visit an aunt and uncle. All in all a swell week to experiment with laxatives and possible acute intestinal distress, depending on how things go.